Monday, May 29, 2006

Rules of Life

Hey, some fun ramblings i came across...

A male car driver will never fasten or unfasten his seatbelt while the engine is turned off.

If England win the world cup this summer, people have to remember its just a heavily sponsered sports event and not the return of Admiral Nelson, victory at El Alamain, the climbing of Everest and the return of the British Empire and all the other stuff that British people use to remind themsleves they were once an important nation. It's just sport, so learn to accept this

The phrase "people either love him or hate him" invariably means that most people think he is a complete cunt ... AND ... he attended public school

Pot noodles aren't sexy, bad, posh or sleazy. They are merely shit.

Don't shit on your own doorstep. Unless it's made of porcelain

The quality of music coming out of a car is inversely proportional to the volume at which said music is being played.

It always seems more tragic when the murdered person featured on the news is pretty.

Any girls who dot their 'i''s with hearts or circles get knocked up at least twice by the age of 16.

MEN: to a woman, NOTHING sounds better than the immortal words 'have you lost weight?'

It's not what you know, but who you're sleeping with

No woman is ever happy until she finds a man who will make her truly miserable.

By 2007 the Sugababes will be completely white.

Blue drink = cunt.

Really attractive women will perceive any act of kindness from a man as a definite act of manipulation. There is no exception to this rule, because she is correct.

Too many cocks spoil the breath

If it wasn't for the hairs on a gooseberry it would be a grape.

k that'll do
behave
kaz x

3 comments:

McGrathy said...

wow, good find, and so true as well! I wonder who compiles these little lists and what they look like. I like to think they wear grey over coats and take a pencil and notepad with them everywhere they go. Oh and they have think black rim glasses!

random eh?

ali wilson said...

hey u ok?? no blog for 5 days!!! too busy driving your new car??

Kaz said...

hey ali...i'm actually computerless right now..so hence the lack of bloggin' its killin' me really, but i'm now in the library! very strange being in a place of intellect hehe..
i saw ali's wed pics last nite, they r grrrreat, fantastic photograpther, i'm soo jealous hehe
hey mcgrathy, thanks again for the post...i've often thought why can i not come up with great quotes and ramblings...but when these people are grey coat wearin' hermits...i realise i'm quite happy the way i am!!!
kaz