Monday, June 18, 2007

I still Exist

Hey,

Well it really has been a long time since I've posted, haven't really felt the urge to waffle on about anything in particular.
I am in a really foul mood today for some reason, much worse than the normal Monday morning blues. Well I say that but I'm not giving off any grumpy signals to the people around me, it's all inside..Grumpy on the inside delightful on the outside!
Don't even know where to start, and don't really want to start online for everyone to read! Besides I have no right to be grumpy, I have no actual "real" problems I'm just a typical woman going on about this and that, when really I should be greatful for everything I have.
I'm 27 and still don't really know what to do with my life, thats always been the case, but it is only now that it's actually starting to worry me...I badly want time off to contempate life haha, how over the top does that sound. Ok not to ponder on life, just to get some stuff done...I have no portfolio of photographs to speak of. I do have a few good shots, but nowhere near enough to call a good collection. I have no time to do the things I want to because stupid mundane work gets in the way. Its a vicious circle, I need to do more work on my photography, I have no time to do this and I'll just keep going round in circles with time slipping away far to quickly.
What I am also afraid of is that I actually do have time, and I'm just putting the entire thing off, maybe I'm scared I'll just be down right crap...and will never be happy with the work I produce. I'm really self critical, but I think it's because when I do anything at all there is always someone better than me out there...ahh maybe i'm looking into this a bit to deeply..

Luch time now,

Bon appetite!

Kaz


Oh Ps. found this pic of my grape picking days, don't ya just love it!




6 comments:

Neil J M said...

Yo roomie, hard day at the office? :D

I'm not going to tell you how much I dig your photography work, because you should already know by now I think it's great. (I wouldn't bother making a site for it if I didn't think it was well worth it.) Sure there's always people out there who seem to do it better than you, but at the end of the day it's little more than just a different approach - neither better nor worse, just different to yours, and I've always thought it's best to have a unique approach rather than copy everything that's gone before. I reckon you've got a similar attitude. Try not to concern yourslef with other people's work, just concentrate on making yours the best you possibly can and people will appreciate and applaud the effort you've put into it.

Aw, I won't ramble on any more. Don't be down kiddo, I get like that all the time and it solves nothing. Have a glass of vino and some cheese and don't worry about it. We'll get a kickass site up this week for you and everyone can tell you how cool your shit is, give you a big head :P

J.H. xo

The Painted Ass said...

God, that's freaky. I started a post yesterday morning which is pretty much identical to this (apart from the 27 and photography bit;)). If I ever finish and publish it you'll see what I mean. I'm blaming your hoodie. Thanks very much for that by the way - very cosy. It's now back in your living room with my Amelie DVD, which you can watch at your leisure or not, but IT IS THE BEST FILM EVER. O and I love your photos (and I know everything, or somethin') - more please. OO and more cake, carrot is good for me - apparently baking gets you in the life sortin' zone ;) (I like these wee winky men). O & I just knew you were a dirty bitch!!

The Painted Ass said...

Aw, the wee winky men didn't really work - hmmm......

McGrathy said...

Speaking of vicious circles... you've been tagged. By me!

Love the pic by the way.

S.

Kaz said...

Ohh McGrathy this tagging business looks like far to much working for my liking!..

Hey again Robyn, I look forward to reading your blog. Indeed my hoodie is the route to all evil. We can burn it and chant around it when you next come over hehe!
Thanks for Amelie, I will hopefully get around to watching it really soon.
Need to get my ass in gear and take some more pics..Roll on July when I'm off for a week, must not get pissed, must be proactive ;)..
Hope work is going ok for you this week!

Oh and yeah I'm sure there's carrot cake recipe in my book, I love it as well..That'll be next on the to make list.

The Painted Ass said...

Hehe - Chanting, burning and cake -life does not getting any better! Looks like we might actually get some better weather so bring so bring on the photies! Work is urgghh but tis nearly the weekend so that's put a smile on my chops